Shortbus Caliphate

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The logo of the Shortbus Caliphate.

Introduction

Alternating in names between Shortbus Caliphate of 2b2t, and, following the fall of Block Game Mecca, The Jewish Internet Defence Force (JIDF) of 2b2t the reason being that the Muslim hub of the Muslim faction simply was no more. It is now, regardless called the Shortbus Caliphate again as of the 20th of September 2018. As the name and theme fluctuate constantly, it will be referred to by both names, and most ranks mentioned will also have 2 names. Keeping this in mind, the JIDF is the self-declared "most irrelevant faction on 2b2t", so just as its creation was a shitpost, the shift from Muslim to Jewish was never fully committed to. As a result of this, JIDF and Shortbus Caliphate will be used interchangeably. For those who would like to take part in the irrelevant hyperautism of the Shortbus Caliphate / JIDF, the link to join can be found here-->[1]

Foundation

The Shortbus Caliphate was founded 6 November, 2017 by AutismBot, Joey_Coconut, and _m_o_t_h_r_a_ following months of Islamic religious instructional shitposts in the Block Game Mecca discord server by Joey_Coconut. Its purposes - to be the "most irrelevant faction on 2b2t", and to spread the glories of Block Game Islam.

Purpose

Whilst officially, the purposes are to be irrelevant and spread Islam, the original purpose of the Shortbus Caliphate was to serve as a smokescreen for Block Game Mecca, so that projects could be built and posted about, crediting the members of the base, but protecting the secret identity of Block Game Mecca.

Doctrine

The Twelve Steps of The Foundation of The Shortbus Caliphate

What follows is the twelve steps to the foundation of the Shortbus Caliphate, as set aside by _m_o_t_h_r_a_ and Joey_Coconut between 7 and 19 November, 2017.

  1. We admitted that we were powerless over autism--that our play had become unmanageable
  2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
  3. Made a decision to turn over our will and our lives to the care of Allah
  4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of our dupe stashes
  5. Admitted to Allah, to ourselves, and to other Jihadis the exact nature of our riches
  6. We were entirely ready to have Allah remove all of these blocks from our inventory
  7. We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings
  8. We made a list of all the autistic projects that we had schemed, and became willing to spend literally months of play time constructing them
  9. Made direct amends to these projects, constructing them even more grandiosely than previously imagined, except where to do so would literally be impossible
  10. Continued to create personal dupe stashes and contribute them
  11. Sought through auto farming and mob grinding to improve our conscious contact with Allah, as we understood Him, praying for knowledge of his will and for the power to carry it out
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Short Bus Sharia

The principals, wisdom, and punishments of the Shortbus Caliphate as lain out by AutismBot and _m_o_t_h_r_a_ on the 23 November, 2017 are as follows:


PRINCIPLES OF FAITH:

  • GLORY TO ALLAH THROUGH SUICIDE BOMBING
  • GLORY TO ALLAH THROUGH AUTISM
  • GLORY TO ALLAH BY MOLESTING NON BELIEVERS

WISDOM OF ALLAH:

  • YOU MUST DIE DURING SUICIDE BOMBING, YOUR SURVIVAL DETRACTS FROM THE GLORY OF ALLAH
  • YOU MUST BUILD GLORIOUS MONUMENTS TO ALLAH
  • YOU MUST HARASS INCESSANTLY ANY NON-MUSLIMS YOU MAY FIND ON THE SERVER

PUNISHMENTS FOR DISOBEDIENCE:

  • IF YOU FAIL TO SUICIDE, THE PUNISHMENT IS DEATH BY BEHEADING, YOU WILL ONLY RECEIVE ONE VIRGIN IN PARADISE
  • IF YOUR MONUMENT DISPLEASES ALLAH, THE PUNISHMENT IS DEATH BY DEATH
  • IF YOU MOLEST BELIEVERS, YOU SHALL BE CAST UNTO THE DESERT AND BRED WITH A CAMEL

A later section, stating "Suicide bomb by any means necessary. Allah prefers blood of the naked spawnfag above all else, but suicide bombing a geared player is acceptable. What pleases Allah is your martyrdom in the name of the LORD." was later included.

History

Immediately following its foundation, the Shortbus Caliphate as an organization itself did very little, as the vast majority of its members were residents of Block Game Mecca, a base who's secrecy at the time rivaled the NSA, it was also several million blocks out. This meant any Shortbus Caliphate activities would be acted out completely by members of that base and include no one else. While originally following this routine in the case of the Shortbus Caliphate Mapart[2] (designed by _m_o_t_h_r_a_, actualized by Joey_Coconut, and built by the Meccaites at large), attitudes gradually shifted. People wishing to be irrelevant flooded in. As a a Hitler statue had been built and the schematica already existed (special thanks to Nations), it was decided to build a replica in spawn. The result was the Hitler Beach Party Scavenger Hunt[3] in April of 2018. This was during the Sixth incursion, where most members of the Caliphate were participants, although not under its banner. The construction of Hitler II was a landmark event in the History of the Shortbus Caliphate as it was its first major activity that did not just include members of Block Game Mecca. About 1/3 of the participants were not Meccaites. Many members of the Shortbus Caliphate joined the Revived 4th Reich for its 31 Bases 31 Griefs challenge. This ended 31 May, 2018. It was all the more ironic that the home base of many of those fell the day after. Information regarding the coordinates of Beardler(the leaker of Mecca)'s base, Purgatory II (of the Builder's Haven group) became known, Xdolf and AlphaComputer joined the ranks and they, _m_o_t_h_r_a_, and AutismBot destroyed the base.[4][5] Beardler was subsequently kicked out of his own group and his involvement in the server fell drastically afterward. Upon the fall of Block Game Mecca on 1 June, 2018, it was decided that a Muslim faction without a Muslim base did not make any sense. The members decided to shift to a Jewish theme, but as the entire faction is an irrelevant shitpost, that theme was never fully committed to. Even though the group was renamed and re-themed, all the members continued to call it the Shortbus Caliphate. On September 11 2018, Autismbot resigned from his position at the head of the Caliphate (since he quit the server), and handed leadership over to Joey_Coconut. It was subsequently reorganized on the 20th of that month to fit its original Caliphatic theme. As of October 2019, the group itself is no longer active, nearly all members have exited 2b2t. Formed in a large part by the remnants of the group is the Ketchup Kingdom, another of Joey_Coconut's self-described "Autistic Creations". For those interested in honing their powers of autism to new heights, the link to join can be found here ---> [6]

Ranks (Old and New)

  • Ascended Autist- An honorary rank exclusive to AutismBot, in early versions of the dogmatic texts of the Caliphate, AutismBot was mentioned instead of Allah, being a faithful Muslim, he realized this was blasphemy and stepped down so that Allah could be properly worshipped.
  • Ascended Caliph - The rank of the leader of the Caliphate following the exit of Autismbot.
  • Pharisee (F.Caliph)- The most trusted rank of the Caliphate, these members (including the Ascended Autist) are the ones who have proven themselves, providing proof of fulfilling all Shortbus Sharia, as well as proving they can be trusted.
  • Imam - Following its reorganization under Joey_Coconut, all Caliphs not well-know to Joey_Coconut were demoted to this honorary rank.
  • KING OF 2B2T YOU MAD NIGGERS YOU MAD JEWFAGS- An honorary rank given to jared2013 for being autistic by the Caliphate's standards.
  • Sicari (F.ISIS)- These members have completed at least half of the Shortbus Sharia, they are merely a stepping stone for eventually reaching Pharisee.
  • Jew(F.Jihadi)- The Pleb-tiered rank for successfully completing a suicide bombing and providing proof. This rank is the lowest that can be earned.

Members

Ascended Autist

Ascended Caliph

Caliph/Pharisee

Imam

Isis/Sicari

Jihadi/Jew